Gas crisis: Resolved

Market forces and increased global consumption being what they are, our ever-depleting reserves of natural gas have led scientists to discover something called "unnatural gas".

Whilst they have a process that will allow an infinite amount of unnatural gas to be created, the resulting product has the following disadvantages:

1. It decides whether or not to ignite.
2. It can, at will, change between being a solid, a liquid or a gas. Or something else which science has yet to explain.
3. It smells unnatural. But can have a pine-fresh scent added to disguise this.
4. It can talk. (And not in the nice, friendly British Gas adverts way).
5. For every BTU of unnatural gas used, a tiny piece of your soul is taken away from you.
6. When moving through gas pipes, the sound it makes is in a musical key somewhere near K#.
7. Chemically similar to Bolivian wine.
8. Has a half-life of 25,000 years.

Hopefully a number of these factors can be ironed out soon. And as long as the boffins work it out, we should have a source of cheap, if slightly menacing, energy for the future.

Vladimir Putin has already put in an order for his Comrades in the Ukraine.