Conservation watch
It's good to be green (unless you're the colour of my work-shirt today, which really isn't nice).
And with world-wide interest in saving the planet at an all time apathetic "pfft", it is great to see peoples' efforts really paying off in one particular area.
A small group of people are helping to save something that in itself is insignificant, but without it, we would all surely perish.
These folks - known as 'dieters' have taken a vow to cut down on their intake of 'calories'. This, they hope, will ensure that the calorie lives on and provides joy and delight to many more generations to come.
And indeed, the results of their work can be seen throughout the world. A trip to calorie haven "Tescos" will allow you to witness the continued spread of the calorie throughout everybody's lives. Thanks to the dedication of the dieters and their continuing fight to consume as few calories as possible, I have seen with my own eyes sandwiches filled with nearly 1,500 calories; desserts with over 2,000 calories per portion; snacks, treats and pies all designed to contain as many calories as possible. It seems that no matter how many calories people eat, yet more are produced.
Scientists speculate that an exponential growth in calories over the next five years will have a directly inverse effect on energy levels throughout the UK.
Which is, when you think about it, odd.
But, when you think about it, true.
Prof. S. Orr of the International Science Something Or Other Panel For The Dissemination Of Things Scientific Team told us, "As calories are spotted in more and more places around the UK, we are finding that the coverage of the common PS2 is also growing. As is the size of everyone's arses."
Congratulations Britain! Our land is swelling with pride - or is the pasties? - and calories are now more prevalent in the UK than ever!
And with world-wide interest in saving the planet at an all time apathetic "pfft", it is great to see peoples' efforts really paying off in one particular area.
A small group of people are helping to save something that in itself is insignificant, but without it, we would all surely perish.
These folks - known as 'dieters' have taken a vow to cut down on their intake of 'calories'. This, they hope, will ensure that the calorie lives on and provides joy and delight to many more generations to come.
And indeed, the results of their work can be seen throughout the world. A trip to calorie haven "Tescos" will allow you to witness the continued spread of the calorie throughout everybody's lives. Thanks to the dedication of the dieters and their continuing fight to consume as few calories as possible, I have seen with my own eyes sandwiches filled with nearly 1,500 calories; desserts with over 2,000 calories per portion; snacks, treats and pies all designed to contain as many calories as possible. It seems that no matter how many calories people eat, yet more are produced.
Scientists speculate that an exponential growth in calories over the next five years will have a directly inverse effect on energy levels throughout the UK.
Which is, when you think about it, odd.
But, when you think about it, true.
Prof. S. Orr of the International Science Something Or Other Panel For The Dissemination Of Things Scientific Team told us, "As calories are spotted in more and more places around the UK, we are finding that the coverage of the common PS2 is also growing. As is the size of everyone's arses."
Congratulations Britain! Our land is swelling with pride - or is the pasties? - and calories are now more prevalent in the UK than ever!
posted by Alf at Thursday, January 05, 2006
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home